NGE: Our Crimson Hero
by Ray O'Neill
Summary: Shinji Ikari was a broken child. His life turned out the way it did because he simply grew up without the proper love and guidance of a parent. But what if fate gave him a chance at a better life and he got adopted by a man that helps him get over his inner demons. A man who teaches him values and helps him from the shadows to protect the world. (Story for adoption)


**Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/Stay Night or Evangelion, or any of its character's, and make no money of this.**

* * *

 **This is a sample or prototype chapter. I always wanted to read a good NGE and FSN crossover, but unfortunately there aren't too many to chose for.**

 **I think that the main problem is merging a story involving magic with one that revolves around technologies and science is most of the time a impossible.**

 **Anyway... I'm one of those fans who was unsatisfied with the original anime ending of Evangelion, and don't get me started on the movies. So i always wondered... What if Shinji actually had an influence when he grew up? What if he could have been raised by someone who could teach him how to deal with his inner turmoil and teach him how to properly live? And how would that persons existence affect the original story line?**

 **So then it hit me. What if someone who had a pretty messed up life himself could teach him that?**

 **Warning: I'm not sure if i will be able to write this story due to lack of time. So i'm posting this chapter as an means of finding a collaborator.**

 **If anyone thinks he can and wants to write and continue this story, please contact me for approval and further information's (i might have some small conditions).**

* * *

 _~Our crimson hero~_

 _Sometimes I start thinking about my past... about the time when I was a kid... my childhood was anything but happy._

 _Or it wasn't until I met him._

 _While there are many things I can't seem to remember because I was only four years old, there is one thing I am certain of, I was a happy child. I had a kind mother that loved and a father that... well I can't really say that he loved me, but I like to think that we got along._

 _I don't remember exactly how but... my mother died when I was four. That was the start of my suffering... when I was feeling that unbearable pain when I lost her, my father wasn't there for me... he didn't speak to me... instead he abandoned me. He sent to the doorsteps of his former school teacher._

 _His teacher was a rather cold man... our relation was something similar to a teacher and student... it was professional... he would take care of me and educate me... but there were no feelings. But the thing that I needed that time was someone... anyone... to there for me... so I tried to never upset him... if he abandoned me as well I don't know what I would do._

 _About three years have passed since I was taken in by him. Our relation didn't improve so much, but it was better than being all alone. To me living meant letting the days go by... I simply didn't have anything or anyone... I just lived my days in monotony._

 _There were so many times I wanted something to happen. Something to make this empty days go away... what I got in return was not what I hoped for... I thought that I would die that day, when a gas leak caused an explosion in the apartment complex we lived in. I saw a piece of hell that day..._

* * *

It hurts...

The smell of the carbonized flesh, so intoxicating that it felt like it was trying to suffocate me.

It hurts so bad...

The sound of the burning building collapsing around me.

It hurts so bad that I want to die, just to end my pain...

I see the lifeless body of my teacher and legal guardian burning next to me.

I want to run away... I want to run away so bad... but I can't... my body is tuck under debris.

I feel the heat increasing and coming closer to my body.

My body is limp... and it hurts so bad... I can't even move a little to ease the pain.

The flames are getting closer... I can feel my flesh burning... there's a piece of burning debris over my chest and its burning its way into my chest. My breathing is slowing down by the second... my lungs feel like they're on fire... my vision is getting blurry... I am dying.

It hurts so bad... and yet maybe dying might not be so bad.

I don't have any reason to live... my mother died... my dad abandoned me... my legal guardian is dead next to me... I don't have any friends... for what should I go on living?

It might hurt now... but perhaps dying will stop the pain that I feel from living an empty life.

'Fighting fire with fire' was it? ... Enduring physical pain to erase the mental one... That's what is going on here.

I'm losing the strength to stay awake... my eyes were closing slowly... I was waiting for my end.

I feel so tired... I just want to sleep and let the pain go away... I close my eyes... and welcome death... at least I will see mom again.

''Kid are you alive?!''

A voice... is he talking to me?

''Damn he's dying!'' he mutter with a strained voice... I can fell the debris being removed from my body. I feel a pair of strong and rough hands picking my body up.

''Come one kid, don't die on me.'' He shouted desperately. Weird... is he concerned about me... why? ... He has no reason to be... and yet I can fell concern in his voice.

''Damn... just hang on a little.'' He said as he placed my body on the floor. In the next moment I felt something strange... a warm light... it feels familiar... it reminds me of what I felt when I was with my mother.

The light... I can feel it... its entering my body... its easing my pain.

''Come on kid, wake up, don't give up!'' He shouted at me. How weird... I don't think that someone cheered on me like this... I wonder what kind of person this man is.

I want to see him... to see his face... I feel like just falling asleep, but I struggle to find the strength to open my eyes. It's hard, but I want to know... I slowly open my eyes... my vision is blurred... all I can see is the form of his silhouette.

''That's it kid, you can do it.'' He cheered on me with a warm voice.

His cheering somehow gives me strength... I fully open my eyes and my vision cleared... it was then that I saw his face... I was dazed.

He was holding me in his ash covered hands. He is a tall man Japanese man, with spiky auburn hair, with a many strands of white. His skin is a bit tanned, and his eyes are unusual shade of gold. Judging by his face he was probably in his 20's. His clothes consist of a black suit and a black trench coat.

''Kid can you talk? Can you tell me your name?'' he asked me gently.

I try opening my mouth. It feels so dry... it hurts trying to speak or breathe, but I still try telling my name, but only managed to mutter it. ''S...S-Shinji...''

It was then in that moment that truly astonishes me... it was his smile. He is crying... but he had such a happy smile on his face. Is he happy?

''Thank God, you're alive! You're alive!'' he muttered as the tears were flowing on his face, slowly dripping and landing on my own. Is he really happy that I'm alive?

It's weird... I always thought that everyone hated me... that it's because of this that dad left me... that perhaps I am a freak and I don't have the right to be loved... and yet a stranger who I never met before is happy that I'm alive... it made me wonder... is this sensation that I am feeling happiness that someone cares for me?

I wanted to know if all of this is real... to make sure this is not an illusion... I tried raising my hand. It moved so slowly and it trembled so much... it felt so heavy, but I pushed it forward and it reached him.

Warm _._

My hand reached his face... I felt his face... it feels warm... just like how mothers felt. Without my control my lips curved into a small smile... I felt happy... and everything went dark.

* * *

When I opened my eyes I found myself in a hospital. I was plugged to so many weird machines it made me wonder if my body is still in one piece. I looked at my body... there were so many bandages covering my chest... it felt a bit tight. It might have caused me trouble breathing if not for the heavy breathing I was already having due to the amount of smoke I swallowed.

The past days at the hospital I spent sleeping. I would wake up for about 10 minutes or so after which I would fall back asleep for the rest of the day. The weird part is that I could swear that there was always someone there next to me when I was sleeping. It gave such a sense of comfort and safety that I sleep so peacefully.

When I finally waken up properly the doctors were looking really weird at me. Some of them had their mouths wide open, some of them dropped their medical tables, and some of them dropped their glasses that they wore. The first thing they did when I woke up was bury me with all kinds of weird medical questions. From what I understood they said that my recovery was nothing short of a miracle. They said that with the amount of injuries and smoke intoxication I had it would take a very long period of time and rehabilitation before I could even breathe properly. But the very moment I woke up I was walking fairly easily.

I spent the rest of that day in bed trying to think things out. Was everything I saw just dream or an illusion?... Was it all in my head? ... Was that man real? ... If he was, who was he?

I hear outside of the room the nurses whispering something about a man that was visiting me when I was asleep... I wondered... was it dad?

My sheer of thought was interrupted when one of the nurses came in the room.

''How are you feeling Shinji-kun?'' the nurse asked me with a gentle smile.

''A bit tired... my throat burns a little though.'' I answered honestly with a strained voice.

''I see, then I will ask the doctor for some medicine.'' She smiled to me.

She stood and looked in front of me for a few moments, there was something weird in her eyes... it looked like she felt sorry for me for some reason.

''Shinji-kun... there is a man here who wants to visit you. If you're feeling unwell we could tell him to come later.'' She said with a rather troubled voice.

When she said that I felt my heart warm up. There was only one person who came to my mind but... Did dad really come to see me? ''No I'm fine, I want to see him.'' I told her with a small smile.

''Ok.'' She replied simply. She walked outside of the room, I could hear her talking to someone outside.

I saw the door opening, I was very nervous. I didn't realize it but I ended up shouting. ''Dad!''

Whatever I was feeling changed the moment I saw who the person was. It wasn't my dad... no... It was him... the man that saved me... He is real!

''Sorry to disappoint you if you were expecting someone else.'' He replied bashfully as he was scratching the back of his head.

I wasn't really sure what to say or feel right now. On one hand I'm sad that it wasn't dad but on the other hand I'm happy to see that it wasn't all a dream and that he exists.

''Well I'm not really used to this kind of situation, so I won't drag or sugar-coat it.'' He said with a small sigh. ''I talked to your dad on the phone and he won't be able to take care of you.'' He said seriously, so dad knew what happened and he didn't even come and see me.

''I'm sorry to say this, but the ways things stand out you will end up in an orphanage. '' He told me with a rather disgusted face... so even now after I went through dad still doesn't care about me... I guess he never did.

I look at the man's eyes, they seem so strong yet they also look a little sad. He closes one of his eyes and smiled a little. ''Or if that doesn't sound too appealing you could get taken in by this strange old man you just met.''

When he told me that I felt my body going numb. Why would he do that... he already saved me and yet he still tries to help me out even though he never met me before. I open my mouth to reply but no words come out... I'm speechless... I want to say a loud and clear yes... but I can't find any voice to do it... so I just nod my head.

When he saw my answer a big smile formed on his face. ''That's great. Then I better go and prepare everything we need.'' He said as he got up and went to the door.

''Wait!'' I shouted suddenly, surprising both him and myself.

''Yes?'' he asked me looking confused.

I was taken back a little, I didn't know how to ask him but I still tried. ''N-Name... you never told me your name.'' I muttered a bit bashfully.

He stared at me for a couple of seconds before letting out small laugh. ''Oh right I never told you my name. That's embarrassing.'' He replied scratching his head.

He extended his right hand in front of me and gave me a small smile. '' My name is Emiya Shirou. Pleased to meet you.''

I looked at his hand for a second, but I accepted his hand shake. His hand is big and his skin is very rough and yet regardless of this things it feels warm and delicate.

* * *

 **12 August, 2007**

I spent about a week in the hospital after that, until he came to help me get released. The doctors were a bit reluctant to release me and said that normally a person with the amount of injuries I had shouldn't be allowed to leave so soon, also the wound in my chest hasn't fully healed yet and they said I should stay until it does heal, but Emiya-san managed to convince them that he can take care of it.

I was sitting in the waiting hall of the hospital, he said he will pick me up and take me to our new home today.

I saw him enter through the front entrance of the hospital, unlike how he was dressed when he visited me now he is wearing some more casual clothes, a black t-shirt, black pants and a pair of black sport shoes. Maybe it's because of the clothes, but now that I look closer he is in very good physical shape. The weird part is that some of the nurses that were in the hall are staring at him and blushing... are they feeling sick?

He walked to me and greeted me with a smile. ''So kid, you ready to go?'' he asked me gently.

''Y-Yes.'' I answer shyly.

When we got out of the hospital we took a taxi. It took us about 20 minutes before the taxi stopped, we were at the train station it seems. Emiya-san did say when he visited me these past days that he lived in Tokyo-3. At first I had mixed feelings about going back to my hometown... there were many bad memories there... and my dad was there. It took about an hour before we got there and we took another taxi towards the edge of the town. While we were in the taxi I couldn't help but stare on the window, the city really had changed... or to be more exact its changing, there are many parts of the city that are under construction by military personnel. We got out of the taxi and Emiya-san started leading the way. The place we arrived at was... an inn?

I stopped walking and starred at the inn, it seemed pretty old, but there weren't any signs that it was open though.

''Is something wrong?'' he asked me curiously.

I stuttered for a second when he asked. ''U-Umm w-we are going to stay at an inn?''

He stared at me confused. ''Oh that's it? Don't worry, this place is mine. It was an inn before, that's right, but it seems that it closed down due to lack of clients. I bought this place since the owner was in need of money, and I've been repairing it ever since.'' He explained with a smile.

So I'm going to stay at an inn huh? I never been to one now that I think about it.

''Are you going to stay there all day?'' he laughed as he entered the building.

''W-Wait for me Emiya-san!'' I said as I began chasing after him.

For fifteen minutes he showed me around the building. It certainly was an inn, there were several rooms, a big mess hall connected to a fairy large kitchen, a traditional Japanese bathhouse, a nice spacious living room and a Japanese style garden. While we were walking I would through a few stares at some parts of the inn... Emiya-san was right, this place needs repairs...

After the so called tour of the house was done, he showed me to my room. ''So what do you think?'' he asked me.

''I-It's... very nice.'' Was all that I could say to him. Who am I kidding, this room is amazing, it's an tradition Japanese style room, but it's incredibly big... though now that I think about it... all my stuff was in the apartment that burned down... oh the irony, having a big room and not having what to fill it with.

''Oh right, I forgot to tell you.'' He said before he went to a nearby closet and took out a cardboard box which he put in front of me. '' It's not too much, but it was all I could salvage from the apparent.'' He said while scratching the back of his head.

His words made me curios. I opened the box and I was speechless, inside it where some of my clothes, personal stuff and my SDAT player. I didn't really care so much for the clothes but I was concerned about the SDAT player, it probably the only thing that made the days go by faster.

I look at it, it's a bit melted on the edges but looks like it can still work. I look at Emiya-san for a few seconds... '' Thank you Emiya-san.'' I said to him with a small smile.

He extended his hand and began playing in my hair with it. ''Hey no need to so formal. Just call me Shirou.'' He smiled at me.

I was a bit taken away by his attitude... he is just so open and full of life... unlike how teacher was. ''O-Ok Shirou-san.''

''Now that's better, take your time and settle in. If you need me I will be in the kitchen.'' He smiled to me as he left the room.

It's weird... everything is so sudden and so fast and yet... it feels better than anything I ever done in the past three years.

I spent about half an hour of arranging my stuff in the room and listening to some music. Thank God the player still works. After that I decided to go and see Shirou-san. It seems I will need some time before I properly learn the structure of the building... got lost a couple of times before finding the kitchen.

When I got there my eyes opened wide the size of saucers when I saw the table. It was full of all kinds of different dishes, each one of them looking like those impressive restaurant dishes in the comics. Next to the oven Shirou-san was stirring in a wonk and humming cheerfully... while wearing an apron... don't know why but I find the apron weird... not the color... red is a nice color... but I'm curios what does the 'U.D.W.' written on it stand for.

He turned around and saw me. ''Oh just on time. Wash your hands and take a sit, I'm almost done.'' He told me while flipping the stir fried rice in the air and catching it back in the wonk.

I nodded and went to wash my hands. When I was done, I took a seat at the table, the food looked impressive from the distance, but up close was a whole different story. I couldn't help but stare at the food, I could feel a small trace of saliva dripping on my face, my stomach growling like a raging beast. I can't even remember the last time I had a decent meal... teacher wasn't too much of a cook, and the food in the hospital... well it was hospital food.

Shirou-san took a seat in front of me. He clapped his hands and offered his prayers. He was about to take a bite out of the grilled mackerel but stopped when he saw me staring at him. '' What's the matter kid? Not hungry?'' he asked me with a raised eyebrow.

''Ummm i-is there any special reason for this feast Shirou-san? Are we expecting someone guests?'' I asked a bit bashful, I don't see any other reason to make such feast.

He looked at me with a puzzled expression and give me a small smirk. '' No reason in particular. But if it makes you feel better, think of it as your welcome home party.''

His words made me feel... happy...

''Better eat up before it gets cold.'' He smirked as he began eating some fried shrimp.

I took a bowl of rice and some fish. I took a bite... delicious... no it's beyond that... but it's not just the taste... the food doesn't just fill my stomach... it fills my heart as well. I didn't even notice it but I began crying.

* * *

 **26 August 2007**

Two weeks have passed since I moved with Shirou-san. I can't really say that during this time our relationship improved. I'm feeling a little awkward towards Shirou-san, he seems to be a very kind person but I can't seem to open up to him. During this time the only time I talked to him was when he initiated a conversation, I never started a conversation with him not even once. But even so I learned some things about Shirou-san. Unlike most adults he doesn't have a fix or stable job, I think he is what you call a freelancer, from what I saw he seems to work with mechanical stuff most of the time. I saw him repair electric equipment like heaters and air conditioners, but also complicated things like motorcycles and cars. Another thing I learned is that Shirou-san is what some would call a house husband, he is simply an expert of every kind of house works, from cooking to cleaning, from sewing to washing. I heard that some of the newly wed housewife's in the neighborhood actually ask him for advice when they don't know what to do.

He spends his free time repairing the inn. Though I'd say his almost done. He could very well put tomorrow a sign that say's open for business.

The interesting part is that he broke the wall between two rooms and created an actual dojo. I saw him using it in the morning sometimes. He said I can always join him if I want.

* * *

 **1 September, 2007**

Today is the day I take out my bandages. While I have been changing them regularly, now it's time to take them out completely. ''Well let's give it a check.'' Shirou-san said as he began cutting my bandages with a pair of scissor. I was currently sitting on the edge of a chair, he cut the used cloth and took a look to the place my wound was and gave me a nod. ''Well congratulation Shinji, your wound has finally healed. The downside is that you're going to have to live with this scar.'' He told me as made way for me to see in the nearby mirror.

I got up and looked in the mirror. I didn't really know what to say, in the center of my chest was fresh reddish scar that looked like some kind of animal tried to dig its way into my chest. While I think it looks a little cool... I think people will find it repelling.

Shirou-san seemed to have noticed my worry and sneaked behind me. '' Don't let it get to you, it's just a scar, nothing to be ashamed of. If you do that you will even forget it's there.'' He told with a serious voice.

I did appreciate his concern, but couldn't help but ask. ''D-Do you have a scar Shirou-san?''

He gave me a skeptic look and didn't reply, he instead unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. I gaped at what I saw... scars... so many scars... long and thin ones... small round ones... claw looking ones... paired ones... but the most impressive one is the one over his heart, besides its unusual pattern it looks so fresh... just what kind of life did Shirou-san had?

He noticed my starring and put his shirt back on. ''Rather than say that they bother me, it's more precise to say that they bother others, so I try not to expose them.'' He said as he scratched his head. ''Well I got a car to repair, so I'll see you later.'' He said as he left.

Another day, another set of questions about Shirou-san.

* * *

 **15 September, 2007**

Another two weeks have passed and I can't say that my relation with Shirou-san has improved too much... I just don't know what's wrong with me... have I become used to not interacting with people because of how my relationship with teacher and dad was?

I still don't really talk with Shirou-san outside when he opens a conversation... I know that not all people are uncommunicative like how teacher was, but I keep wondering how he can support me like this... shouldn't he be mad that I don't interact with him?

I just don't understand people at all.

Whenever he asks me to help him out with something... which is rare... I never refuse him... and yet I still can't get myself to open up to him... I want to properly talk to him... but I'm scared... that he might leave me too.

A new thing I learned was that Shirou-san practiced swordsmanship. He would practice in the morning sword play. But the interesting part is that he practices a dual short sword style. It's a very captivating sight to see him swing those wooden swords... I wonder how it would look if he used real swords.

The dream I recently had might also had a role in this... It's a bit foggy, but I remember certain parts of it... I dreamed that I was a fighter or a warrior of some sort and had the power to make a difference in a battle. I had comrades who I fought together with... but in the end I chose to run away... and because of this I ended up alone... alone and empty in a dark room.

* * *

 **19 September, 2007**

It was late night. I was trying to sleep, but I kept having a nightmare... I was dreaming about the fire again, how I was burning alive in the old apartment, but this time I wasn't alone. In front of me was dad and he was starring emotionless at me. I was begging him to help me, but he didn't budge from his place. Instead he turned his back on me and began walking.

 _''I have no use for you.''_

Those words he told me that moment made my heart sink as the flames burned me.

I woke up from the nightmare... I was covered in cold sweat... I look around me and realized that I am in my new home... why didn't dad care about me?

I decided to get some fresh air, maybe it would help me calm down and get this nasty images out of my head. I never realized how quiet this place was at night. I walked towards the courtyard and saw someone on veranda starring at the moon. It was Shirou-san.

He turned his head and saw me. ''Oh hey Shinji. Can't sleep?'' he asked me while looking back at the moon.

''Not really... I was having a nightmare.'' I answered honestly.

He didn't look so surprised and simply starred at the moon. ''Want to keep me company?'' he asked me.

I nodded simply and took a seat down next to him and took a look at what he was looking... the sky sure is beautiful tonight.

We stood like that for about ten minutes, no words exchanged and we simply starred at the sky. ''Say I'm curios.'' Shirou-san said while scratching his hair. '' Did I do anything to make you feel uncomfortable around me?'' he asked.

What?

''Well you kind of seem to avoid talking to me, so I thought maybe I did something to upset you, I'm not really used to taking care of someone so...'' he trailed and kept talking... his words... they were wrong... so wrong that it hurts me to hear them.

I never realized it but I got up and stood in front of him. ''You're wrong!'' I shouted at him, getting a surprised look from him. ''It's not you Shirou-san, it's me, ever since you saved me the thing I wanted the most was have a proper talk with you, but I was always scarred that I might upset you... I'm scarred of being abandoned again... you... never knew who I was and yet you saved me from that fire... and if that wasn't enough you also took me in and gave me a home... you showed me so much kindness... you made me feel... that my life has value... so the thought of you abandoning me as well... its unbearable.'' I shouted more than I ever did in my life, I was now catching my breath from saying all of that.

Shirou-san was looking at me weird. He took a few seconds before sighing and smiling. ''Is that so? Then how about we talk?'' he said with serious face.

I was taken a little by his answer. ''W-What?'' was I managed to mutter.

''Well you said that you wanted to talk to me right? So then ask away. I will answer any question you have.'' He told me while scratching the back of his head. ''Look Shinji... I can somewhat relate to going through a rough time. So don't worry, I promise that no matter what happens I will never abandon you and I will be there for you... so just trust me a little, ok?'' he told me with a gentle smile... his words... they sting... they make my eyes sting so bad... I can't control it... I fell down to my knees and break into tears.

I cry, so many tears are flowing from my eyes, but I still ask him. ''P-Promise?''

He got up from his seat and stood in front of me. He extended his right hand and patted my head. '' I promise. So just cheer up.'' He said as he gave me a hug... it's warm. I felt so many long forgot feelings and simply nodded, being unable to speak.

He patted on my back and whispered gently. ''Its ok... let it all go.''

I continued crying for half an hour before stopping. He kept hugging me until I let it all go... I feel bad for the sleeve of his yukata... I got it all wet with my tears.

After I finally calmed down we both sat on the veranda and stared at the star filled sky. It felt... refreshing.

He said I could ask away anything... but where should I start? ... start?... right the START!

''Ummm Shirou-san... why did you save me?... You didn't have any reason to save me...'' I asked a bit awkward... really why did I ask that?

He looked at me and hummed. '' You are right. I had no particular reason to save you. But I still did it. Better get used to things like this, it's the kind of person I am.'' He replied while shrugging his shoulder... somehow his answer confused me more.

I decided to ask him the question that has been really bugging me. ''I remember... even though it's a bit foggy... you were crying and smiling when you saved me... why would you do that?'' I asked with a half-voice.

When he heard that question the air around Shirou-san seemed to change... it became a little sad. ''Well... that fire and the way I found you... it made me relive my childhood. I saw myself into you.'' He told me.

''What do you mean?'' I asked confused.

He took a look at the moon and took a deep breath. ''When I was seven years old I was also caught in a fire... but the one you were caught in doesn't compare to the one I was in. The one you were caught in was only an apartment complex... the one I was caught in covered about five blocks... there were over five hundred deceased counted and many more injured people.''

I swallowed air when he told me this. ''F-Five hundred?!'' my eyes were wide open.

He nodded silently. ''Yes... as weird as it may sound perhaps it's better that you got stuck under that piece of debris... you didn't get to see what I saw.'' He told me with a sigh.

I'm a bit scarred to ask but... I want to know. ''W-What do you mean?''

He looked me in the eyes for a few seconds before exhaling tiredly. ''Well you see... when I was caught in the fire I was right in the middle of it. The only thing I could think of was saving myself... I was surrounded everywhere by flames and debris... I tried to survive no matter what... I would walk through that sea of flames, ignoring the cries of help around me... I could have stopped and help the people in need but it didn't...'' he said in a sad tone. ''I was literally walking over peoples corpses to save myself... I was walking... and walking... until my body gave in.'' he said while displaying a stoic face. ''I remember my body going numb and falling down... my lungs felt like they were on fire, my vision was getting blurry... I felt that I was dying.'' I look at him and I saw something in his eyes. Something warm. ''When I felt that everything was over I was saved by a man... it was the look on his face that captivated me... the look of happiness on his face when he saved me... it made me want to be like him... someone that could save people and smile like that.'' He said with a small nostalgic smile. I see now... it was the same when he saved me... the look of happiness...

''What happened after that?'' I asked curious.

''I lost consciousness after he found me. The next thing I know I woke up in a hospital bed. Spent a few days there, and the doctors seemed troubled by me. While I healed physical, I was still hurt mentally.'' He told me. ''What I lost that night was more than just a home and a family... I lost myself.''

I looked confused at him... he lost himself? ... ''What do you mean?''

''When I woke up... I had forgotten everything, any memory I had made up until that point... gone ... the single thing that I could remember from before the fire was my given name... everything else was gone... burned away. It could be right to say that whoever I was before the fire died that night.'' He told me with a solemn voice. Even though I find it sad... I can't help but envy it a little... if I could just forget everything and start over again.

''It felt weird... I was so confused... so empty... I didn't know what I could do anymore... and yet I was saved again.''

''The man who saved me that night... his name was Emiya Kiritsugu, he visited me in the hospital and asked me if I would like to get adopted by him. I was really taken back by the whole situation but I was happy. He saved me in so many ways and I was never able to repay his kindness.'' He told me in a rather melancholic voice.

''How come?''

''Kiritsugu... five years after he adopted me, he died... he had a terminal disease that was slowly eating him away... but even though his body was getting weaker by the day and living was becoming a torture for him... he was always there for me when I needed him. He taught me how to live again... I have some regrets in my life... and the fact that I never was able to repay his kindness was something that I always regretted.''

He closed his eyes and was silent for a few moments, then he looked at his hands. ''I was desperately searching for survivors in that apartment complex that night... but the only things I found were dead bodies... I was feeling dreadful... the feeling of helplessness when the people were dying there and I wasn't able to save anyone... it was getting at me... I felt like I was relieving the fire from my childhood... but when I found you in the fire... I felt what Kiritsugu probably felt when he saved me... it was as if it wasn't me who saved you, but rather it was you who saved me by living... I don't know if it was a coincidence or it was some kind of joke done by fate but... I felt Kiritsugu was there with me that night... telling to go on.''

''When I saved you... I felt happiness... and wanted to share it... so I did what Kiritsugu did... and decided to give you chance to a happy life.''

I was speechless... is this all true?... can I really be happy?... ''A-Are you sure you made a good choice?... I could turn up into a nasty person.''

''If that happens I will help come back on the right track.'' He told me with a reassuring smile.

''How can you know that for sure?'' I asked him with a doubtful voice.

''I don't, but I like to believe in it.'' He took a look at me and then began patting my head. ''A person once said that the loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest, the most damaged people are the wisest... all because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.''

Again... his words sting and I begin crying again. But he offers me a supporting shoulder once again.

* * *

 **16 October, 2007**

The talk I had with Shirou-san some time ago was something I really needed. Those fears and emotions that were eating me alive started to ease with each conversation I had with Shirou-san. It became something like a habit for us to spend a few hours on the veranda each night and have a conversation. Somehow the atmosphere there made me feel easy to talk to him. I still try not to upset Shirou-san, but recently I began engaging in conversations by my own accord.

While Shirou-san is still a mystery to me, his stories are really interesting. Contrary to what I believed at first Shirou-san has a lot of funny one's.

Tonight's was particularly funny.

''Ha ha ha ha.'' I laughed while clenching my sides. Shirou-san was telling me stories of how his ex-girlfriend Rin-san was a walking disaster when it came to anything remotely electric or technologic and how one occasion he asked her to record a program from the television. It was simple, turn on the Blu-ray recorder and press record. When Shirou-san got home he found his Blu-Ray in pieces.

One of the things I learned from his stories is that girls can be really scary... and I mean really scary... or at least from what Shirou-san said about the women he meet during his life.

* * *

 **14 November, 2007**

I'd say that I started getting used to Shirou-san. I feel pretty natural around him and I'm more relaxed and opened when talking to him. I felt a bit bad about the fact that he does all the chores around the house so I started asking him to teach me how to do housework so I could help him.

It was once when he was running late due to one of his jobs and I thought I could make him something to eat... it was the first time I tried cooking... and let's say that it didn't went to well. While the food did turn out ok... there were some drawbacks... I kind of messed the kitchen up in the process.

The look Shirou-san had when he saw the kitchen... well... let's say it was weird to see a grown up a man fall to his knees and start to sulk like a depressed child.

It was then that I learned that chef's like Shirou-san take pride in their cooking, and that their kitchen was something akin to a holy sanctuary to them. So the chaos that I caused in his kitchen was a really hard blow to his ego. The next time I stepped in the kitchen Shirou-san was there with two aprons in his hand and a serious expression. It was then that I started my cooking lessons with him. He told me that he usually doesn't let anyone he doesn't trust in his kitchen, so he won't deny me the joys of cooking, so he would teach me how to know my way through the kitchen.

It was that time when I saw another side of Shirou-san. It seems that he is very serious when cooking... but also very strict when teaching me... I never thought I could use so many band aids in such a short time... but the pain of knife cuts aside... it felt nice, him teaching me... I don't think this is what they meant by male bonding but still... it feels nice.

* * *

 **25 December, 2007**

So this is my first Christmas together with Shirou-san. While it's only the two of us it certainly feels... how should I put it?... Christmassy. While the city is still under governmental reconstruction the stores are all in Christmas fever. At every side of a street there's a guy dressed as Santa, giving everyone a happy holiday. We got a fairy large Christmas tree, decorated it and put in our house. Shirou-san seemed to be a little bummed, because of the events of the second impact the seasons changed and now we only have only eternal summer. Shirou-san said he was twenty-three years old so I guess he did see real winter. He would tell me stories of how the woman that became his legal guardian after his father's death would wake him up first thing in the morning to make snowman together with her. From what I learned from his stories it would seem that she was more of a kid than he was and sometimes it was Shirou-san that actually took care of her. From his stories she seemed quite a handful... hope I never end up taking care of a grown up woman.

Now I know what I want to add on the list of recipes I want to learn from Shirou-san. The Christmas cake he made... there are no words strong enough to describe the level of masterpiece that cake was, it made wonder if Shirou-san was blessed by some kind of cooking divinity or made a contract with a demon lord of food.

But food aside... it was presents time.

Now I'm a little nervous to give him gift... I mean... I had no idea what I could get him. He doesn't seem to ever need anything... it's like he make the stuff he need appear out of thin air or something.

So I kind of went with the flow and got him a necklace with the kanji 'sword'. Don't know why but the first thing I think of when I think of Shirou-san are swords. Perhaps it's because recently he started repairing old swords. Somehow when I see him with a sword in his hand, it feels so natural, like he was born with it... perhaps he was a samurai in a past life.

But I managed to step up and give it to him. At first he looked a bit confused then he let out a laugh. ''You really know me, don't you? '' he told while chuckling.

He put the necklace around his neck, it looked pretty good on him. He then went to the closet and took out a big wrapped box.

''I hope you I got the right model.'' He said while handing me the present. I was really curious what it was considering the size of the box.

I unwrapped the box and opened it. I was speechless, inside of it was a musical instrument but not just any. ''A guitar?'' I shouted in awe and confusion. I was awed by the fact that he got such an impressive piece of musical instrument and confused why he picked an acoustic guitar.

''Well, I wasn't too sure what to get you, but then it hit me. Remember when we were at shopping a few days ago?'' He asked and I simply nodded. ''We passed by a music shop and I noticed how you stopped and your eyes glued to the guitar on the wall. So I thought you might like it.'' He told me while scratching his hair.

Well I am a bit conflicted right now... everything he said was pretty accurate except for on small detail, I was indeed starring at an instrument in that shop but it wasn't a guitar, it was a cello right next to the guitar.

But I still like it very much. ''Thank you so much Shirou-san!''

* * *

 **5 April, 2008**

The next months passed really fast. Ever since I got that guitar I started learning how to play at it. While I'm not really good I still try. The first time I tried playing it I really sucked, but Shirou-san gave me some tips, and also he played a song he heard a long time ago. It was beautiful, it wasn't something to complex or refined, heck he told me that it was originally a song meant for the piano not the guitar, but it was beautiful non the less, if I remember right he said it was called 'Ever present feeling'. Somehow hearing him play that song motivated me to try and one day be able to play songs like that.

So spring finally arrived and with it the thing that has been scarring me for the past few months... school.

While I may be now able to talk to Shirou-san without any problems... that's a whole different case with strangers. Guess old habits die hard...

I am currently standing at the opening ceremony and I feel really out of place. Probably because I am the new guy in my class.

If only the directors speech wasn't so boringgggg.

''You bored Shinji?'' Shirou-san asked me from my right side. Guess one of the reason why I feel a bit out of place is because almost all of the kids are here with at least one of their parents. So I'm getting curios looks from other kids... or if I look carefully I think Shirou-san is the one getting the weird stares. No he isn't dressed funny or anything, it's just he doesn't look like your typical Japanese adult, red hair with white strikes, and yellow eyes aside he is really tall, well while 187 cm isn't shocking by western standards, by Japanese ones Shirou-san is really huge.

I'm curios though why he always gets so many stares from women in particular...

''A bit. I'm starting to feel nervous near so many people.'' I answered sincerely.

''At least you have it easy. You don't have a hyperactive sister figure to embarrass you the first chance she gets.'' Shirou-san sighed as he rubbed his eyes. I don't know if this was advice or just him complaining but it somehow made things ease up.

From what he told me on one of our lunar chats, Taiga-san caused a lot of situations for him that made him want to just dig a hole and hid in it.

''Guess that means I'm more lucky.'' I smiled to him, a bit amused.

* * *

 **17 May, 2008**

More than a month has passed and I still haven't made any friends at school... it seems that the first few weeks were something really crucial when it came to establishing friendships in a class. From I could tell my classmates have divided into small groups of friends. Now that those groups have been made its really hard to one to get himself inside one of those groups.

I'm pretty much a regular student, average grades, a quiet personality, so I don't really stand out in my class. I guess I really should listen to Shirou-san and try to be open to people...

But maybe tomorrow...

I was walking quietly towards my home, wondering what could be a good method for me to talk without any problems with my classmates.

My sheer of thought was interrupted the moment I heard some screams. They came from across the street, and I quickly ran to see what was going on. When I reached the corner of the street I peeked at what was going on.

What I saw were two of my classmates getting picked up by four upper classmates from my school. If I'm right those are Suzuhara-kun and Aida-kun... they really look in trouble... but what can I do... if I jump in I would only end up beaten up myself... but I can't run away, I must help them... but how?

I started thinking really hard for a solution... but nothing came... or at least not until I remembered an advice Shirou-san once gave regarding live... 'Sometimes in life if you can't beat something, the first step to do so is imagine something that can beat it'.

I used his words as a starting point and thought deeply... something that could beat those boys...

I got it...

''Come on brats, you're not going anywhere till you apologize.'' One of the older boys say with an annoyed expression as he was gripping on Aida-kun's shoulder. It was obvious from his face that he was in pain.

In response to him, Suzuhara-kun took stance. ''You're the ones who started this. He doesn't have anything to apologize for.'' He shouted at the older boys... only to make them even madder.

''Guess this brat needs some education.'' One of the boys said as he was pulling up his sleeves, preparing to beat them up.

That was my queue and I started shouting from behind the fence. ''This way officer!''

I stood in place five seconds then revealed myself. ''There they are officer. Their beating up those boys!'' I shouted while pointing my finger to the older boys.

The boys reacted immediately and let go of my classmates. ''Crap! That kid called the cops!''

''Lets scramble!'' One of the boys yipped as he began running.

I stood in place for a few seconds until the boys were out of sight. My legs gave in and I fell on my butt. ''Phew~... Thank God they bought it.'' I sighed tired... man I felt like my heart was gonna explode.

The boys came to my side, looked around me and gave me a confused look. ''Hey where's the police?'' Suzuhara-kun asked.

I looked and let out a tired breath. ''There were no policemen. I acted like there were to scare them...'' I smiled awkwardly while scratching my head.

The two of them gave me a weird look. ''Wait so all that was acting?'' Aida-kun asked as he rearranged his glasses.

''Pretty much...'' I said a bit bashful... now that I think about it... what I did does sound kind of weird...

Surprisingly they both began laughing... but it didn't feel that they were laughing at me. Suzuhara-kun put his arm around my neck and gave me a big grin. ''Ha ha man you really saved our backs! Thanks a lot!'' he replied cheerfully.

Aida-kun on the other hand was giving me an analytic stare until he flicked his fingers. ''Wait... you're our classmate... Ikari right?'' he asked me a bit uncertain.

''Y-Yeah.'' I replied, guess they didn't know who I was after all.

''How did you find us anyway?'' Aida-kun asked curios.

I awkwardly began scratching my hair. ''Well... I was just walking home... it was more of coincidence. But why did those guys picking on you?'' I asked them. They don't seem like the kind to get in trouble, so I can't help but wonder.

Aida-kun's face went all dark and gloomy and pointed his finger towards the ground. ''That's why...''

I took a look to where he pointed and I saw some kind of shattered plastic toy... I think it's supposed to be a robot. ''When we were walking Kensuke was showing off his mecha model and they bumped into us. The mecha shattered when he dropped it and those guys were demanding us to apologize for bumping in them and I started arguing with them.'' Suzuhara-kun explained with a small amount of annoyance in his voice.

''I see...'' I replied. So they were just minding their own business and got dragged in this because of those older kids.

Aida-kun picked up the pieces of the shattered toy and was sobbing. ''Man... I just bought this... and it's all pieces now...''

I was feeling kind of sorry for him. If I recall those kind of toys are really expensive. I would like to help him but don't know how. It's not like I know someone who can repair anyth... Wait... ''You know... I think I might know someone that could repair it.'' I say with a small smile on my face.

We arrived later at my home and I asked Shirou-san if he could repair it. The look he had when I brought the others home was a bit panicked... well I guess this was the first time I brought someone over at home, so he was caught off guard. But still he said he would repair the mecha.

Shirou-san entered the room where we were waiting, in his hand was the repaired mecha. ''There all done.'' He smiled as he put on the table in front of us.

The two guests were pretty shocked, I wasn't however, after living with Shirou-san for a while I learned that he always finishes his work faster than anyone can imagine. ''So fast!'' they both exclaimed.

Aida-kun instantly took it in his arms and began hugging it, saying that he won't something like this happen again. Shirou-san smirked a little and gave a small reply. ''It wasn't too difficult, it was actually similar a puzzle.''

''Thank you so much!'' Aida-kun bowed in front of Shirou-san.

Shirou-san gave a small smile and headed towards the kitchen. ''Well since that's done I will get you kids something to drink.'' He said as he walked.

''Man Ikari, your brother is really cool.'' Suzuhara-kun told as he put his arm over my neck.

His words somehow made me feel a little disappointed... it would have been really nice if Shirou-san and I were real brothers. ''Oh no... Shirou-san isn't my brother, he is my legal guardian.''

Aida-kun narrowed his eyes as he arranged his glasses. ''What about your parents?''

This time the question stung me a bit... ''My dad was too busy to take care of me...''

''What about your mother?'' Suzuhara-kun asked.

''She died four years ago...'' I replied stoic... while I still haven't gone over her death, I managed to start and accept it, so I try not to let it sadden over... well at least it works sometimes.

Suzuhara-kun stiffened and took his hand back, his face turning a bit gloomy. ''S-Sorry I didn't mean to...''

I noticed his reaction and try to calm him. ''N-No it's all right...''

Aida-kun noticing the awkwardness in the air decided to change the subject. ''S-So is this place an inn?''

And so the day went by and I got know two of my classmates. It was the first time I had someone over at my home and I have to admit it was really fun. Too bad the day had to end.

''See you tomorrow at school Ikari.'' Kensuke-kun and Aida-kun waved at me as the left for their homes.

''Yeah. Goodbye.'' I smiled as I waved at them, it might have been short but it felt really refreshing talking to new people.

''They seem like nice kids.'' Shirou-san remarked from my right side. He is right, they are nice guys.

''Yeah.'' I nodded.

''Guess you just made your first friends.'' Shirou-san smirked at me, closing his right eye. Guess it really seems like I just made my first friends... however.

''No...'' I contradicted him only to get a confused stare from him. I turned my face towards him and gave my tall guardian a small grin. ''You are my first friend Shirou-san.''

He looked at me a bit surprised for a few moment before he locked my head into his arms and began playing with my hair. ''Yeah, your right.'' He chuckled as he was messing my hair.

* * *

 **18 July, 2008**

It seems that sometimes in life coincidences can lead to interesting developments. After I helped the guys from those bullies the very next day we started hanging out. The first thing that they made do is drop the whole honorifics and call them by their given names.

Since then we became something like a trio in our class, some calling us 'the three stooges'. But this didn't limit my interaction with my other classmates, it's quite the opposite, ever since we became friends they've been helping me getting more open with the others in class.

While I don't really have other friends, I now interact with my other classmates unlike before.

A thing I learned is that karma might exist... or maybe not karma... but it seems that me helping Toji and Kensuke had a little downside.

I was currently sneaking around the house trying to get to my room without getting caught.

''Is something wrong?'' Shirou-san... who ironically was right behind me, asked.

I froze instantly, I could feel the color draining from my face and my body sweating. ''N-No n-nothings w-wrong.'' I stuttered, trying to deny.

Shirou-san gave me an intense stare and got in front of me. He grabbed my hands and locked them to the nearby wall. He then pulled my shirt revealing the reason why I was sneaking around. ''Did you really think I wouldn't notice?'' he asked me with a concerned look in his eyes as he was examining the bruises I had on my body.

He scratched his hair and began walking. '' We can talk this later. For now we need to treat those bruises.''

Just like that I got my bruises patched up and the rest of the day there was silence between me and Shirou-san. It was only later during out moon gazing that we started talking.

''So how did it happen?'' He asked me as he was staring at the sky.

I stiffened a little but relaxed and began explaining. ''Remember the day when I first brought over Toji and Kensuke?'' I asked him to make him understand the situation. He nodded his head in confirmation. '' Well the boys that I tricked that day to save them remembered my face and decided that they should teach me a lesson.'' I explained with a strained voice... the memories of their little 'education' flashing through my mind.

He stood silent next to me, it looked like he tried to analyse what I just told him. ''How long has this been going on?'' he asked me sceptic... he just had to ask that...

''A while...'' I answer with a straight face.

''Have you told the teachers or ask someone for help?'' he asked me with a concerned look. I shook my head. I didn't want to get anyone hurt because of me.

I was feeling ashamed and averted my gaze away starring at the floor. I could feel him stare at me... but he didn't seem mad... he instead sighed. ''Look Shinji... I know you try not to concern people with your problems, and you try to solve them by yourself so you don't involve those you care about, but if you do that you might end up unintentionally hurting their feelings.'' He let go of me and looked me in the eyes. ''Sometimes by not asking for help or not talking about it you hurt the people that care about you. I have done that mistake far too many times and it pains me to see you do it as well.'' He told with a rather melancholic voice... did Shirou-san go through something similar?

I wanted to scrawl under a rock out of shame... Do I really hurt people by doing this?... No... I never wanted this... ''I'm sorry Shirou-san...'' I apologized with an ashamed voice.

He was scratching his hair and was making a humming sound, probably thinking about something. ''I think I should scold you in moments like this, but there's something else I want to know.''

One of my eyebrows raised in confusion... there is something more important than getting me scowled? ''What?''

He looked me directly into my eyes, his gaze was cold and serious. ''Do you want this continue? Do you enjoy suffering for doing a good deed?''

What kind of question was that, of course I don't want this to continue... I mean who enjoys pain... ''N-No...''

''Then do you have any plan how to solve this?'' He asked me with curios face.

A plan to solve this... well... maybe I could... no that won't work... or maybe... nah that won't work either... ''N-No...''

He was silent for a few moments than nodded his head and looked at me. ''How about I make a suggestion?''

''Ok...'' I agreed a bit confused. Does he really know a way to make this all better?

''You know I've been concerned since you started school that you might end up having trouble with other kids. So it lead me to this question... Do you want me to teach you how to fight?'' he asked me with a dead serious face,

I almost swallowed my tongue when I heard his suggestion. ''W-What? But I don't want to hurt people.'' I shouted, putting my hands up in a defensive manner. The very idea of me hurting people sounds just so wrong.

''No wait...'' Shirou-san blinked a few times and shook his head. ''Maybe I formulated it wrong... I meant to teach you to defend yourself.''

I blinked in a similar manner to Shirou-san did a few moments ago. ''Isn't it the same thing?''

''Depends how you would use what I could teach you. It's like putting a sword in your hand, it's your choice if you want to use it to block attacks or slash someone with it.''

I thought a little about it and I'm not sure what I should do... on one hand it could be nice to know to defend myself... but I also don't want to hurt people. ''I don't know what to say Shirou-san...''

''Then what if your friends would be the ones in trouble?'' He asked me with a cold tone, his question stabbing my very being... ''If a person who you care about is a few steps from getting hurt, would you allow it?''

Somehow the image of Toji, Kensuke and Shirou-san getting hurt appears in my head... ''No...'' I said with a strained voice, that's something I don't want to see... no that is something I don't even what to think about.

Shirou-san interrupted my shear of thought when he placed his hand over my shoulder. His stare was intense. ''I don't want to teach you how to hurt people, I want to teach your how to defend them... because the feeling of being unable to do anything is something that slowly eats you away.''

Weird... there is something in his stare and his voice... sadness. I can't help but ask. ''Did you ever lose someone Shirou-san?''

He was silent for a few seconds, his face became a little bitter. ''I saw far too much death during my life... but there is one person who I truly regret not being able to save.''

I knew I am walking on fire right now and that I am probably only opening old scars for Shirou-san but... I want to know. ''Was it someone close?''

He changed his stare to the moonless sky. ''Not quite... but she was someone who had suffered far too much for her age... a victim of unfortunate circumstances you could call her... she put up with an inhuman life style and yet she died in a cruel manner right before my very eyes... the situation was beyond my power... if Rin hadn't stopped me that day I would have certainly died... if only I was stronger that time, perhaps she wouldn't had to die.'' He told me with a sad voice.

So it wasn't Rin-san who died, then... ''Who was she?''

''Her name was Illya... She was the biological daughter of Kiritsugu.''

I almost chocked when I heard who she was... ''Y-You mean...''

''Yeah... she was my step-sister... ironically I found out that this only after she died... but I still failed her as a brother and let her die.''

I saw it... the sadness and regret in his eyes... just how stupid am I. ''I'm sorry for making you remember...''

''Don't be...'' he told me with a sigh, looking aimless at the stars. ''Look Shinji, I know you are a good and gentle person, but at the same time you are very fragile, I fear that should a day come when you need to face a tragedy you won't be able to get over it. So that's why I want to make you strong both physically and mentally.''

I took a moment and thought about all that he just told me... I always thought that Shirou-san was something of an unbreakable man... always with a smile on his face, always showing his strong personality... I knew we went through some similar lives... but I now see he went through much more than I went... and yet he managed to move on and live his life... I wish I could be like him... someone strong that could walk forward regardless of what hardships life throws at me... I want to be like him. ''I understand.''

''Are you sure? My training may be a little unorthodox, so a half-hearted resolve won't help you.'' He told me with a small smirk on his face.

Those words scared me a little... ok maybe more than a little... but I won't change my mind. ''Yes I am.''

''Ok then, we are starting tomorrow morning.''

* * *

 **2 August, 2008**

When Shirou-san said this will be unorthodox he wasn't kidding... I was basically over the top Spartan physical training, sparring sessions with me as a punching bag and weird meditation sessions.

The first days made me feel like a was hit by rampaging truck... then it backed up and hit me again... and again... and again... and so on until I wasn't able to stand up by myself.

Is this how the hero's from anime and manga felt when they went through their own inhuman trainings?... Curios... Is that how Shirou-san got his ideas for training?

Anyway Shirou-san thought that I should know how to adapt to multiple situation so he recently started teaching me how to use swords... I can say without a gram of doubt that using swords is not as easy as it looks.

It took me a while to learn the proper way to hold a sword, and a whole lot more time to learn how properly swing a sword.

But it was worth it. After a while I meet with those boys again and they tried to beat me up. This time however things weren't the same. While I can't say that I learned how to fight I learned how to protect myself and probably due to sparring with Shirou-san, they all seemed very slow when attacking and I had no problems dodging. It wasn't really a fight... no calling it a fight was a bit of a stretch, considering the fact that I would only dodge them until they dropped to the ground out of exhaustion. So in other words the training I done until now has honed my reflexes.

It make me wonder how things will be when I actually learn how to fight back.

* * *

 **13 March, 2009**

Time sure has passed faster when you actually had to do with your life, unlike those old days full of depression and anxiety when the days seemed to never pass.

For the first time in a long time I am faced with self-eating concern.

''Ok now, be sure to not cause too much trouble while I'm gone, ok?'' Shirou-san told me from the entrance.

Ever since I started living with Shirou-san he was always there for me when I needed him... and now he is going to leave. Well not for good, but still...

I think it was about a few days ago when Shirou-san told me all of a sudden that he received a call from an old acquaintance that needed his help with a job. So he now has to leave for about a week to do it... and he has to leave the city for this. Another small problem is that he can't let me stay all alone for a week, so after discussing with Toji's dad I will stay with them until he returns.

''Have a safe trip Shirou-san.'' I waved my hand to him as he left.

Guess Toji noticed my face after Shirou-san was out of sight. He put his arm around my neck and gave me a big smile. ''Cheer up Shinji, there ain't no reason to sad, he'll be back in a week.''

Yeah he is Shirou-san has never let me down before. So I'm sure he won't start doing it now. '' Yeah your right.''

* * *

 **23 March, 2009**

I started to doubt my own words... Shirou-san was supposed to return over three days ago and he isn't answering his phone... The fear of abandonment started to eat me up once again...

The past days have been really rough on me... I haven't been really eating too much... nor have I been sleeping well... I took a look in the mirror this morning... I look like a mess.

I kept thinking about what may have happen to Shirou-san... but my sheer of thought was interrupted by Toji... or more precisely his punch.

He hit in the back of the head with his fist. I turned around to look at him and he was anything but amused. ''How long are you gonna sulk, Shirou-nii is just a little just a little late.'' He shouted at me... I know I should trust Shirou-san and believe in him but... the pain is still there.

''Come on let's see if the is any good movie.'' Toji sighed as he turned on the T.V.

I was really in the mood for a movie, but perhaps one might make take my mind off things.

''And now, regarding the recent Mazellian incident, the authorities still haven't been able to find a trace of the mysterious man that had killed every member of the sect. Even after taking declaration of the involved civilians, they still have no solid lead where to search.'' I heard the news bulletin on the T.V.

The Mazellian incident... oh right, it's been pretty much the subject on every news channel and newspapers lately. Three days ago there has been a massacre in Russia.

It involved a sect of religious fanatics that dubbed themselves the 'Mazellian Cult'. They were are a group of people that believed that the second impact was in fact a sign made by divine power, and that the end is approaching. A bit crazy if you ask me, but there are many people who believe that the second impact was more than just a meteorite crush.

From what I heard during the last years their activities have become more and more insane. But what they recently done had took the cake.

I think it was about when Shirou-san left that the news said that sect had taken an orphanage with a number of thirty three children hostage. They were going to perform a ritual and sacrifice every single one of those innocent kids as an offering to the Gods so they will forgive humanity for their sins.

I'm not really sure if those Gods they talked about really exist, but I'm sure they met a devil.

A few days ago when they were about perform their so called ritual, a mysterious cloaked man managed to find their hideout. From what the police managed to deduce and from some kids managed to saw, the man broke in and massacred every single member of the sect. By massacre I mean he literally decimated their bodies.

Many of the policemen threw up when they saw the end result. They said it took a whole day to collect all the remains. From their reports, it seemed that the man used contraband fire arms and swords.

It became a debatable subject between many people. They are debating if this is the work of a vigilante or a terrorist sociopath. On one hand the man saved those children but on the other hand he killed every member of the sect in the process.

I'm not sure myself what to believe about this... he might have killed those people... but they were going to kill thirty-three innocent children... children my own age.

''Sounds like the 'Militsiya' is having a rough time.'' Someone commented from behind me.

Militsiya... I think I know that word... oh right, that's the name of the Russian police. ''Pretty much Shirou-sa...'' I froze in place when I realized who just spoke to me... I turned my head and he was there.

He smiled and raised a hand at me. ''Sorry I'm late, there was trouble at the airport.'' He told with an awkward smile.

I don't know how it happen but the next thing I know I tackled Shirou-san to the floor. I think it look amusing for a man of his height to be pinned to the floor by a little boy.

I really am a kid... crying all over him... but I don't care... I'm happy he is back. ''You could have given a call you know.'' I manage to say between tears.

He didn't say a thing and stared at me for a while before putting his hand over my head and started playing with my hair. '' Yeah sorry, I lost my phone.'' He replied with a small chuckle.

Thank God... he came back... he didn't abandon me. He really came back.

''Welcome back Shirou-san.'' I told him with a face filled with tears and big smile.

''I'm back Shinji.'' He replied with a smile.

* * *

 **25 May, 2014**

The years sure went fast. It felt like it was yesterday when I moved in with Shirou-san, but it's actually been seven years. Things sure have changed that's for sure, while some things won't change no matter what... well that's to be expected since both Shirou-san and I are really hard-headed.

I sure made many progresses during this time. When it comes to fighting the old days when I was Shirou-san's punching bag are all over, I made a huge progress... I can actually block and dodge his attacks now... oh come on, that's an improvement considering the inhuman battle skill Shirou-san has.

Anyway his training has many more benefits besides putting me in peak physical shape, it also helped me hone my mind, not to panic in a fight and calmly analyse the situation. Helps during exams as well.

But one of the things that Shirou-san managed to change was narrow view of life... I don't even want to imagine what kind of emo depressed kid I could have turned out if it weren't for him. Well while I'm not the heart of a group, I can now hold conversation with anyone without anything keeping me back, that fear of people hating me and leaving me all alone is now gone, I understood that the fear I had was only something in my head. I haven't forgot the pain I felt when father left me or when I was burning alive in the fire, but I realised that moving on doesn't mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what's happened and continue living.

Just as I changed I saw how my friends changed as well. Toji for instance became somewhat of a lose fuse, the kind of guy that won't back down from a fight once you tick him off, but that doesn't mean he enjoys violence or fights out of pleasure. I think that most of the time he just puts up this tough guy act when he in fact is still good old Toji. He became really dedicated in sports, some call him a brainless jock, but I know he always gives his best whenever he participates in a sport, though he could give up on wearing his tracksuit at school...

Kensuke on the other hand... well he became what some people call a military otaku... and not in a good way. I don't actually know what I am supposed to be more worried about, the fact that Kensuke spends so much time researching military data and information or the place he actually gets those information's.

Today is just a nice sunny day... and obviously I'm at school... but I digress, that's the life of a 13 year old kid.

''Ok kids quite down.'' the teacher said as he entered the class, interrupting my sheer of thought. ''I know it's a bit sudden but we have a new transfer student joining us today. I want all of you to treat her nice and not make her feel uncomfortable.'' He explained while looking through some papers he held.

Toji and Kensuke's ears seemed to somehow twitch at what the teacher said. ''Hey Shinji!'' Toji whispered from my right. ''Do you think she's hot?'' he asked with a small grin... oh right, ever since puberty started hitting us, my two friends have become quite interested in the opposite sex. Well I am interested as well but let's face it... I'm a bit shy with girls.

''Come on in Ayanami-san.'' The teacher told the person waiting outside to enter.

The door opened and I saw who the person was... when I saw her... I felt something weird... I don't know what it is... but I get a strange feeling from her.

She is a girl my age, she is a few inches smaller than me, her frame looks rather thin, her skin is pale white similar to a porcelain doll, but the most intriguing features she possess are her hair and eyes. Her hair is chin length short, but its color... its light blue. It certainly an unusual color, but it's also intriguing at the same time. But the thing that stunned me the most at her are her eyes, not brown, blue or green... but red... ruby red... like the color of freshly drawn blood.

I was literally analyzing her every move, her face was aloof, but no matter how much I looked at her there was only one thing that I could see in her eyes... sadness... emptiness. It reminds me a bit of how I used to be... but at the same time it's fundamentally different.

''Would you please introduce yourself Ayanami-san.'' The teacher told the girl who was just staring at the classroom.

She face didn't have any reaction as she opened her mouth. ''Ayanami Rei.'' She told us with an emotionless voice... guess that made some of my classmates to start whispering... things about how she seems lifeless or how weird she looks.

The teacher saw this and began hitting on the blackboard with a piece of chock. ''That enough kids. Ayanami-san you can seat in the back row next to the window.'' The teacher told my new classmate, she didn't respond and simply went to her designated seat.

She walked slowly and with grace... now that she was approaching I took a closer look to her... she looks so frail, so fragile. She was right next to me, I took one last look before she was out of my eyesight... there is something about this girl... I don't what it could be... but it makes me feel very strange.

''What's up Shinji, did the new girl steal your heart?'' Toji whispered with a teasing voice... I almost bit my tongue out of shook.

''It's not like that!'' I told him... or rather I shouted at him, which in return got the whole attention of the class.

''Ikari-kun, since you don't seem to enjoy our class how about you step out outside for a bit.'' The teacher remarked, while pointing his finger to the door... just my luck.

I nodded silently and went outside. Really what a way to start a day... damn Toji and his teasing... he knows I can't handle girls and must make fun of me because of this... really... how could he say that I fell in love with a girl I just saw, that only happens in anime and manga... though I have to admit... she is really cute.

Later that day I went back home while having to resist the torture of Toji and Kensuke's teasing... I swear the first time I see them showing any affection towards any particular girl, it's teasing revenge time.

When I arrived home it was time for me and Shirou-san usual routine.

Remember when I said that I'm not the only one who changed. While I changed very much mentally, Shirou-san however has changed physically. His once auburn red hair now has turned completely white, his skin has tanned and his eyes have changed from gold to steel grey.

It was really a weird if you ask me. During the last years he would take jobs similar to that one time when he left me at Toji's house. From time to time he would go on different jobs, and when he would return home he would have more and more white hairs in his head and his skin would tan slightly bit by bit.

I always asked him how his hair could go full white before he hit the thirty year bar, but he always jokes around and tells me that having a kid like me gives him white hairs... ok maybe I could understand that, but what's up with his skin?

''So anything new at school?'' Shirou-san casually asked as he casually threw a punch to my liver.

I dodged the incoming fist at the last second and threw a kick towards his ribs. ''Not really, we did get a new classmate today though.'' I said as he caught my leg. He rotated me in the air a few times before throwing me to the side.

I saw a raised eyebrow on Shirou-san face. ''What kind of person is he?'' he asked casually

I got up and began a barrage of punches. ''Actually it's a girl. Also she seems rather antisocial.'' I said as he was blocking each fist I threw at him.

''How so?'' he asked as he caught my fists in his hands, keeping me pinned in place.

I was struggling to get my fists out. ''Well she seems really empty, she didn't even talk to any of the people who tried to talk to her. She kind of reminds me of how I used to be.'' I raised my leg to hit Shirou-san's face, only to hit the air as he dodged.

''She might just be shy or a little introverted around new people. Give her some time, remember you weren't exactly a chatting person when I took you in.'' he got behind me and crushed his elbow in my ribs. Man that hurt.

I fell to my knees, gripping my ribs. Sometimes I wonder just what his body is made of.

''D-Don't know why but...'' I managed to mutter between painful pants. ''W-When I look at her I get a weird feeling... I don't know what it is but it really confuses me.''

Shirou-san looked at me a bit sceptical before a big smirk formed on his face. ''Maybe you have a little crush on the new girl.'' He laughed with a teasing voice.

My face just started burning. ''Oh come on Shirou-san! I get enough teasing from Toji, I don't need it from you too.'' I protested at my white haired guardian.

''Better from us then from the girls. Believe me I had to learn about teasing from Rin and it wasn't pleasant.''

I decided is time to fight back. ''I don't want to hear that from the guy who can't get a proper girlfriend.''

''That's cold.'' He replied a bit depressed. For as long as I know him, Shirou-san has never had a proper relationship with a woman. I don't really can see why, I mean he is a great guy and from what I noticed during the years, women do find him quite attractive. Guess that one of the great unsolved mysteries regarding Shirou-san.

* * *

 **21 September, 2014**

When Shirou-san said that Ayanami might be a little introverted he was making an understatement. Ever since she transferred in my class the only times she speaks is when a teacher asks her a direct question... which is also rare. But man she just doesn't talk to anyone, all she does all day at school is stare out the window. I remember the first days after she transferred, many of my classmates tried to talk with her but she just ignored them. While I think she just has problems adjusting to people, most of my classmates think she is simply an ice queen and it's simply useless trying to talk to her. There are many times when she is absent for many days straight.

I tried talking to her myself and didn't had any success... ok maybe just saying hi and bye isn't really trying. But I think I'm probably the only one who still salutes her... even if she doesn't respond. Why am I still trying you might ask, well I still haven't figured out what is this odd feeling I get when I see her. I think it's one of those weird fascinations that people have, the kind of only a few have and aren't understood, kind of like the one Shirou-san has with swords.

But I still find it weird, Shirou-san would probably have a list of reasons why he likes or is fascinated by swords... but I don't know what exactly fascinates me about Ayanami.

I was in class and took a look at Ayanami. She was simply looking aloof out the window. I don't know if its pity or something close, but when I see her all alone... it makes me feel sad. Who knows... I hardly understand women... and from what Shirou-san tells me, understanding women is the ultimate achievement that men have been searching for since the dawn of humanity.

''Hey Shinji.'' Toji shouted from my side.

''Ahh, sorry what?'' I answered him, with all my thinking I forgot that I was with Toji and Kensuke on the roof having lunch.

''I was asking if you saw the news last night.'' He told me while taking a bite of his sandwich.

So that it was huh... ''No did something happened?'' I asked curios.

They both gave me an 'are you serious look' like I was supposed to know what happened. ''What happened is that 'The Archer' striked again.'' Kensuke told me as he arranged his glasses.

I narrowed my eyes at this. ''Again?'' I asked curious. It all started after five years ago. The same man who was responsible for the 'Mazellian incident' kept reappearing from time to time, preventing similar situations that risked the lives of innocent people. While the people involved called him their hero for saving them, many people call him just a blood thirsty vigilantly. I think it was after a year after his existence became a problem that the police and the security agencies dubbed him 'The Archer'. Why the weird title you may wonder, well from what I saw on the news, many of his victims were killed by arrows.

''They said that he went and killed a whole organisation of dangerous arm dealers. The police said that they were preparing to make one of the biggest arm deliveries since the Second Impact to one of the conflict zones. While some are debating that killing them was an insane act, others speculate that if the shipment would have reached the destination thousands of innocent people would have died.'' Kensuke narrated.

Wow... just when I say there's nothing he can do anymore to surprise, here he is doing it again. Just what kind of person is this man?

* * *

 **13 November, 2014**

Still no progress with Ayanami... lately I've been wondering if I'm starting to develop a stalker persona... or that maybe Shirou-san's habit of helping people has been rubbing on me more than I thought.

I really don't understand myself... I want to help her come out of her shell and actually smile... but I also keep my distance from her... but I barely know how to act around girls.

Maybe I'm just overthinking things.

I was leaving class and arrived outside. It was raining very hard... lucky me that I have an umbrella, wouldn't want to walk home in this weather without one. While the seasons have changed, the rain hasn't. I don't know about others, but I enjoy the rain, I like the smell and sensation of rain after a scorching day.

I walked slowly and enjoyed the sound of the rain. I was approaching a crosswalk and saw that there was a person waiting there, without any umbrella or raincoat. While I was getting closer I saw that it was girl from my school, with blue hair... wait... Ayanami?

She is standing there waiting for the lights to change... but it's raining. How could she just there... Even I who enjoy the rain don't like staying in it like that. I began walking faster trying to catch up to her, with the intention of offering her my umbrella. I saw her start walking... wait that car over there isn't slowing down... OH NO!

I dashed as fast as I could, praying I'm only paranoid, but the car wasn't slowing down and neither was Ayanami stopping. I felt my heart and blood on fire, my breathing stopped, time seemed to have slowed down I could feel each drop of rain that hit my body.

I extended my hand as far as I could, feeling like the bones in my shoulder are about to dislocate from amount of strain I was putting on it. I was getting closer by the second, but so was the car.

Run.

Run.

Run.

 _RUN!_

''Ayanami!'' I shouted at her as my hand reached her shoulder, the car was about to hit her. I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back in the last as the car flashed right in front of her.

She is safe... thank God... I did it... I felt like my legs just turned to mush and I feel to my knees, catching my breath and letting my heart rate stabilize.

I was patting so hard, even with all my training I done with Shirou-san, he never trained me for something like this.

I raise my head and look at Ayanami, she is... starring empty at me. There isn't any emotion in her eyes. Normally a person would be scared, shocked, terrified, startled, stunned but she is just staring at me like nothing happened.

I just wanted to say to 'Are you crazy?! How can you be so calm after nearly getting him?!' or 'Are you blind?!' but that isn't really my style.

''Are you ok Ayanami?'' I asked her gently as I got up from my knees.

She didn't answer and just stared at me. Our eyes met, even in this rain I could see just how red her eyes are. ''Why did you do that?'' she asked me with a soft yet emotionless voice.

I wanted face palm myself at that moment, but somehow managed to resist. ''Why?... Ayanami the car would have hit you if I didn't! You might have died!'' I told her with calm voice.

She continued to stare at me, there was no change what so ever in her look. ''No.'' she told me bluntly.

Of all the possible things that I wanted to say, only one word came out. ''Huh?''

''I have stopped walking right before you grabbed my shoulder. The car would have only passed in front of me without making contact with my body.'' She explained to me with a stoic stare.

...

...

...

Huh?... You mean she was ok all this time?... Ok now I feel a bit stupid.

Moving on.

''That's not the point Ayanami... you could have gotten hurt, or worse die!'' I told her with a rather raised voice. I'm not shouting, but my voice is a few scales higher than it usual is.

Did she not understand what I mean?... She is just starring empty at me as the rain is dripping of her clothes... wait... rain?

Oh man! I completely forgot that we are sitting in middle of the street, we are completely soaked and it's pouring like hell right now.

''Ayanami is your house close?'' I asked her.

She stood and starred at me for a few seconds. ''No.'' she answered blankly.

''My house is close by, you can stay there until the rain is over.'' I told her firmly, what kind of man would I be if I leave her in the middle of the rain.

Her expression didn't change at all, she just continued to stare. ''...For what purpose?'' she asked me simply.

Was there something wrong with her head?... ''For what purpose?... Ayanami, we are in the middle of the rain and we are soaking wet. If we continue staying in the rain we will catch a cold and in worst case end up in the hospital.'' I explained as simple as I could.

She continued to stare at me. She seemed to analyse everything I said and slowly nodded her head. ''...I understand.''

We both arrived at my home. I went straight for the closet and got towels and dry clothes.

''Here.'' I told here as I passed her towel and some dry clothes. ''The bathroom is over there. Be sure to take a warm bath.''

She simply nodded and went to the bathroom.

I went and used men's bath. It's in moments like this that I love the fact that this place is a former inn. There are two sets of baths, the men's side and the women's side.

I think it took me ten minutes to finish washing and getting dry. I went back to the living room and took a seat on the couch letting the heat from the bath disperse from my body.

This sure has been a weird long day. I take a look around me and notice that Ayanami still hasn't gotten out of the bath. Guess girls do need more time than boys.

I was staring at the ceiling when it suddenly struck me... I was all alone... with a girl taking a bath in my home... 'Certain images' just flashed throw my head...

I got up and began hitting my head against the wall. No bad Shinji! No perverted fantasies about your classmate is allowed.

While I was banging my head against the wall, I head steps behind me. I stopped and turned around, it was Ayanami. She was wearing the clothes I gave her... oh man. How can she look so good in those shorts and shirt?

She slowly walks over to me and gives me a stare. ''I am done.'' She told me with her usual tone.

I shake my head and get rid of any remaining thoughts and take back my posture. ''T-That's good.''

We stare at each other for a minute... then two... then five... then ten... What am supposed to do or say right now?

Dammit! Shirou-san why didn't you teach me how to speak to girls?!... Ok calm down... think of a subject to discus with her.

''D-Do you want some tea Ayanami?'' I asked her with a voice that sounded like it was stretched across the room. She simply nodded.

I went in the kitchen and made the said tea, but also prepared some snacks. When I was ready I went back to the living room and found Ayanami sitting on the couch, looking around the room.

''Here you go.'' I told her as I served the tea. She took it and took a sip out of it.

About ten minutes have passed. Man... I know I'm bad with girls but she isn't too far away either.

''Y-You aren't a very talkative person are you Ayanami.'' I told her... and wanted to face palm myself afterwards. What kind of idiot tells that to a girl?

I looked at her, expecting an angry reaction. But she is the same, if anything her stare shifted a little. ''I simply speak if it's necessary.'' She told me softly.

''Only if necessary... don't you ever feel the need to talk to someone?'' I asked her confused, how could someone speak only if necessary.

''No.'' She stated. ''Besides, isn't it custom not to talk to a stranger?'' she asked me.

Her question was... what? ''Stranger?... But Ayanami I'm your classmate.'' I stated to her, I mean we don't really know each other but I don't think that makes us strangers.

''Isn't a person who's name you do not know a stranger?'' she asked me. And again her logic seems to deal a weird blow to my mind.

''Wait...'' I said with a confused voice. ''You don't know my name?'' I asked simply. But now that I think about it I never did present myself directly to her before.

She was silent for a few seconds and gave me a cryptic stare. ''No.'' she stated.

''Umm I know I never presented myself, but didn't you hear my name when the teachers were making the presence list or when asked me a question?'' I asked her, sure there are some classmates that I never talked to but I know each of their names.

''I never considered it important.'' She stated stoic. I just can't figure how I didn't fall of my chair after hearing this.

''O-Ok then...'' I said to her with a forced smile. This has got to be one of the weirdest conversations in my life.

I got up from my chair and stood in front of her. ''Since you don't know me, let me present myself. I am Ikari Shinji.'' I told her as I did a small bow.

For the first time I saw something I could call a reaction from her. Her eyes widen up slightly and her lips open up a little. ''Ikari?'' she asked, a little curiosity resonating from her voice.

I nodded and gave her a small smile. ''Yeah.''

She stared at me, but this time was different, it was as she was analysing my very being. ''Do you have any relation with...''

Whatever she wanted to say was caught off by the fact that Shirou-san just entered the room. ''Man, it sure is raining outside.'' He complained as he was shaking of the water in his hair.

He took a look and saw us in the living room. For a moment his eyes went wide open and his mouths hanged out slightly, he stare seemed to be focus on Ayanami.

He shut his eyes and shock his head a little then walked to us. His expression seemed rather concerned.

''Shinji you should have called me and tell me that we have guests.'' He told me as he looked at Ayanami.

Oh so that why the weird look was for. ''It was unexpected. We both got caught in the rain and I couldn't let her walk home like that.'' I answered him with shrug.

''Guess we are more alike than I thought.'' He chuckled, as he walked towards us. ''You must be Ayanami Rei right?'' he asked with a smile, wait... how did he guess that she is Ayanami.

She didn't respond and simply nodded.

''While I don't mind having Shinji's classmates over, did you call your parents and tell where you are?'' he asked.

''I do not have parents.'' She stated. Wait... so she doesn't have parents as well?

Shirou-san narrowed his eyes at her. ''Do you have a guardian or someone I should let know where you are?''

Ayanami starred at him for a minute. ''The people I inform of my whereabouts are my legal guardian and my physician.'' She answer blandly.

Shirou-san took the nearby phone and gave it to Ayanami. ''Better let them know where you are, they might be worried. Come to the kitchen when you're done, ok?''

''Understood.'' She nodded silently and began forming the number. Shirou-san waved his hand towards, gesturing to follow him to the kitchen. I silently followed.

''Now I understand why you're always so concerned about her. She is quite gorgeous.'' Shirou-san smirked at me. Man I hate that smirk.

''I-It's not like that Shirou-san. It's just... I somehow feel that I might have ended up like her if I didn't learn to cope with my problems. I feel that she is missing much in life by being all alone.'' I answered honestly... perhaps I'm doing it out of admiration for Shirou-san... just like he helped me get over my social anxiety, perhaps I want to do the same with Ayanami.

Shirou-san took a moment and stared at me. ''While I don't think it's a bad thing to want to help someone, it's not good to force yourself on a person. You need to take it slow, let her open up to you and build trust in you.'' he told me with serious face. Now that I think about it, it was the same case with me and him, he didn't try to force himself in helping me get over my problems, he took it slow and made me feel comfortable with him.

I noticed Shirou-san starring behind me, I turned my head and noticed Ayanami sitting at the kitchen entrance. ''I have informed my physician. She will arrive soon to take me to my home.'' She informed us stoic.

''Is that so?'' Shirou-san replied curios. We both turned our heads when we heard the doorbell. Wait is her doctor already here?

''I'll get It.'' my white haired guardian told us as he went to the door.

I heard the door open, I couldn't help but take a small peek to see who the person Ayanami was talking about is like. It was a woman in her late twenties, she has short blond hair, green eyes and a small mole under her left eye. Hair aside, I can tell by her features that she is Japanese. Actually, if I look at her eyebrows, her hair is obviously dyed blonde.

''Good evening. I came to pick up Rei.'' She greeted Shirou-san with a small smile. ''My name is Ritsuko Akagi.''

''Emiya Shirou, a pleasure to meet you.'' Shirou-san greeted her with his signature smile. ''I must say doctor, I'm very surprised you got here so fast.''

Actually I'm surprised to, what's up with that?

''I was in the neighbourhood when Rei called, imagine my surprise when she told me where she was.'' She explained calmly.

''Yeah, sorry about that. She and Shinji got caught in the rain and he couldn't let her walk home in that storm so he invited her over until it calmed down.''

''I see.'' She nodded.

''Shinji, come here and say hi!'' he told me, guess I'm not really good at sneaking around.

I nodded and stood in front of them. ''Hello, I'm Shinji Ikari.'' I presented myself. Surprisingly the woman in front of me seemed to react to me.

''Ikari?'' she muttered slowly as her eyes were checking me from top to bottom.

I began scratching my hair awkwardly. ''It's a weird name I know.'' I replied a bit embarrassed, I mean depending on what kanji you use my name can mean either 'anchor' or 'anger'.

''Oh no, that's not it.'' She told me as she stared at my face.

''Good evening, Doctor Akagi.'' Ayanami greeted her as she arrived next to us.

''Well Rei, it's time to get you home.'' She told Ayanami, who simply nodded at her.

''Are you in a hurry?'' Shirou-san asked the blond woman.

''No. Why do you ask?'' she asked curious, actually I'm wondering that as well.

''Why don't you ladies join us for dinner?'' Shirou-san asked with a smile and a small spark in his eyes.

The woman took a moment and seemed to think about his offer. ''I haven't eaten anything since lunch, but I wouldn't want to impose.''

My white haired guardian waved his hand in protest. ''It's alright, it's always nice to have more people to eat with.''

''Alright then.'' She nodded in acceptance to Shirou-san offer.

He turned his gaze towards me and gave me a sly smile. ''You ready Shinji?'' he asked me.

I instantly knew what he meant. It seems it was time to put on a little cocking show for our guests.

''You bet I am!'' I smiled confidently at him.

The reaction we got from Ritsuko-san sure was entertaining one. Like most people who try the food made by Shirou-san and me. Ayanami sure is a tough rock to crack... she ate a lot of our food and didn't even crack a smile... she did say that it taste delicious, but it's a bit hard to believe her when she says it with an impartial face.

''Thank you for such a wonderful dinner Emiya-san.'' Ritsuko-san bowed slightly towards Shirou-san.

''You're welcome, and please call me Shirou.'' He smiled at her.

''Ummm... see you tomorrow at school Ayanami.'' I smiled at my blue haired classmate.

She looked at me for a few moments. She didn't reply, but she nodded her head slightly.

The two women left our home. It was sure nice to have guests. Hope this will help Ayanami open up to me.

* * *

 **29 August, 2015**

Just another casual and quiet day in the house for me. I was just jamming in the living room, and Shirou-san was polishing a sword.

''Something on your mind?'' Shirou-san asked me as he put down his sword.

I narrowed my eyebrows. ''How can you tell?''

He got up from the floor and stretched himself a little, guess sitting on the floor wasn't so good. ''The only times you play that song is only when something is bothering you.'' he told me as he pointed to my guitar.

Man, he knows my every quirk... though I don't think someone plays 'Eye water' when he is in a good mood. ''... Well it's Ayanami. She's been absent for three days and nobody knows anything about her.'' I told him, remembering her empty seat.

He scratched his hair and went towards the entrance. ''Maybe she is just sick. Why don't you visit her to see what going on?''

''I'd do it if I knew where she lived...'' I sighed, well it's not like she would be glad to see me. Truth to be told our communication didn't really improve since that time with the rain. We are still in the 'I greet and she sometimes replies' phase, but that's about it. Perhaps I should try and break the ice once she returns to school. Confront her and talk with her. ''Anything interesting in the mailbox?'' I asked him since he returned with a hand full of envelopes.

''Not really.'' He shrugged his shoulders as he began looking through them. ''Bill. Bill. Flyer. Bill...'' he stopped talking and simply starred at one of the letters ''Hey Shinji...'' he said with a rather perplexed voice.

I stopped my little concert and looked at him. ''What is it?''

''There's a letter here for you.'' He told as he handed me the letter.

''A letter? Weird I never got one before.'' I told him, well its true after all, I mean who would send me a letter?

''That's what I thought as well.'' He told me casually.

''Who could it be from?'' I wondered out loud as I opened the letter... when I saw its contents my eyes widen, my lips and hands were trembling.

''Is something wrong?'' Shirou-san asked as he noticed my shocked reaction.

I didn't believe what I saw in the letter... or maybe I didn't want to believe what I saw in the letter. ''... This letter... is from my dad.''

Just like I reacted uncharacteristic, now Shirou-san did it as well... though rather than surprised he narrow his eyes and made a very pissed of face. ''What does he want?''

''I don't know...'' I answer with a shrug.

''Huh?'' he blinked confused at my statement.

I gave him the letter to see for himself. ''That's all that it say, 'Come'. Everything else is blacked out. That and it also has this weird card.''

He took the cared and gave it a sceptical look... he didn't seem to like it very much. ''NERV huh?''

NERV... where did I hear that name before... oh. ''You mean that military organisation?''

''Yeah...'' Shirou took another look at the letter before giving it back to me. ''That aside... what are your going to do?''

He just had to ask me that... ''I'm not sure... I need some time to think this over.''

I spent the rest of the day thinking about what I should do... do I even want to see dad in the first place... I mean... there were times I thought he just went and died somewhere. Does he want to patch things up?... or is it something else?

Man couldn't he give a call and explain properly. What kind of man write a letter and say 'Come.', how would he expect me to just come and see him like that?

''Still not sleeping?'' Shirou-san asked me as he walked towards me and took a seat next to me.

''... No I can't. I keep thinking what I should do.'' I told him as I starred at the moon.

He narrowed his eyes and gave me a concerned look. ''So I was right. This really had startled you.''

''Yeah... what do you think I should do?'' I asked him with a tired sigh.

He didn't answer and looked at me for a few moments, his eyes were narrowed and serious. ''Sorry but that's something you should figure out by yourself.''

Somehow his answer wasn't what I expected. ''Ah come on, you always were there to tell me what to do, what's different about this time?''

''Shinji I think you are misunderstanding some facts. I only offered my own opinions and made suggestions, but never once did I obligate you to do anything.'' He told me while he starred in my eyes... now that I think about it... he's right... he never once forced me... neither with the guitar, nor the fighting lessons... I could have given up at any time if I wanted... it was always my choice, not his... but I still never gave up, regardless of how hard and painful it was... because... it made me happy. ''Besides, Shinji you are not a small kid anymore, you can't just rely on me to help you out every time, I will consult you and offer an opinion, but there are some decisions you must take on yourself, otherwise your no better than a puppet.''

His words sank deep... the word puppet somehow repulsed my very existence... I don't want something like that... to have my life commanded... I refuse. ''...I understand.''

He put a hand over my shoulder and gave me an assuring smile. ''But know this... whatever you chose doesn't change the fact that I am still here for you.''

He is doing it again... damn that smile... if I was a few years younger I would have begun to cry ... but not this time, I learned how to counter it. ''Damn... how can a man with such swooning words still be a bachelor?'' I teased with a small smirk.

It looked like a dark cloud just formed on his head ''Hey, it's not like I enjoy being single.''

I noticed his little depressed reaction and decided to raise the stakes a little. ''Yeah, yeah. It's not like you're getting any younger with that hair.''

Guess the hair remark was a little too much and a spark seemed to ignite in his eyes. ''... I can always dye it you know, but unlike you, I can reach the upper drawers in the kitchen.''

He had to go for my height... ''I'm still growing. Besides your freaking huge.''

My remark didn't affect him at all, quite the opposite as he gave me a smug smirk. ''So I've been told before... especially by women.''

I wanted to comment and retaliate to his sex related joke. But no idea came to my mind as I was facing him... and I eventually started to laugh at us. ''Ahahahaha.'' We both laughed really hard, I don't know about others but I find this 'fight' we had really funny. ''Thanks Shirou-san, I really needed that.'' I told him between chuckles, I really needed this, and I feel much better now.

''You're welcome. So have you reached a decision?''

I didn't have no doubt anymore, I know what I must do. ''Yeah... tomorrow I'm going to meet my dad and see what's this is all about.''

''I see. Mind if I tag along?'' he asked me with a sly smile.

My jaw was about to fall from the level of stupidity the question had. ''What kind of question is that? Of course you're coming, somebody has to be there to stop me if I try to punch the old bastard.'' I told him while gesturing a fist, I highly doubt that I will have a soup opera reunion with my dad.

He narrowed his eyes and gave me a confused look. ''That will be a bit difficult, I might end up punching him myself.''

We both laughed at this and spend the night chatting on the veranda.

* * *

 **30 August, 2015**

We're both in the street and we're waiting for the person to take us to NERV. In that envelop I received yesterday there was a number to call. We called it and talked to a woman, she told us that she will pick us and take use to NERV.

''Man its hot today.'' I sighed as I used my hand as fan.

''I think it's pretty fine.'' Shirou-san replied bored. Who knows... he might have gone to some pretty hot places to get a tan like that.

I sigh and looked in the distance... huh... wait a second... I look more carefully in the distance... there a person there... wait that blue hair... Is that Ayanami? What is doing there?

''You ok Shinji?'' Shirou-san asked me curios.

''Huh?'' I turned my head to him and give him a confused look. ''Yeah I'm ok, I just saw...'' when I turned my head to point to Ayanami she was gone... she vanished into thin air... did the heat made me see things?

''Saw what?'' he asked me confused.

''No never mind, it's nothing.'' I lied a little through my teeth. The last thing I need right now is an appointment to the ophthalmologist.

Our trail of thought was cut off but the sound of a car honking at us. We turned around and saw a car stop in front of us.

Shirou-san whistled as he saw the car. ''A blue Renault Alpine A310. Nice.'' He commented.

The driver open the window and greeted us with a smile. She is a beautiful woman in her twenties with long dark purple hair, wearing a pair of black glasses. ''You boys need a ride?'' she smile at us.

I'm sure today will be a day that I will never be able to forget... but I hope it won't be because of something bad.

* * *

 **End**

 **Ok so this was my concept of a FSN and NGE crossover.**

 **After watching Evangelion anime, movies and manga, I couldn't help but feel bad for Shinji and the other characters. I mean it might just my personal opinion is that the one thing that Shinji Ikari truly wanted more than anything was to feel loved. He was just kid who was deprived of his parents love so its no wonder he turned out messed up.**

 **Now i know that there are many people who grew up without their parents and didn't turn out broken like him, but most of those people had an influence. Shinji was 4 years old when he was abandoned, that a very critical moment in a person life, when he is the most influence by his surroundings.**

 **So i thought that Shirou's influence may give him a chance to learn how to live and accept what happened.**

 **Now about the somewhat familiar opening. Considering the fact that didn't get to much background on Shinji life in his childhood, it gives us a chance to add more dept to it.**

 **I wanted to create a situation in which Shirou sees himself into Shinji, so i tried to remake the fire that created Shirou. While similar to how it was for Shirou, it is fundamentally different.**

 **The fire didn't traumatize Shinji because he was already by his low self esteem and his father leaving him.**

 **Shirou knows how Kiritsugu raised him, how he tried to help him get over his distortion but failed, so he has some ideas how to help Shinji.**

 **I know that some of you are wondering what is Shirou doing in the Eva verse, but i cant just spoil things from the start.**

 **But that's about all you will get unless i find someone to continue this story.**


End file.
